Sex Work is NOT Empowering! Insider Shares 7 Dark Truths
After nearly 20 years in the online sex work industry, I’ve come to a pretty big realization: sex work is not empowering.
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s the truth.
I got into this world when I was pretty young.
The promise of good money and a glamorous lifestyle was super tempting.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to be like those dancers, porn stars, and models often portrayed in the media?
They seemed to have it all – the beauty, the desire, the wealth.
Plus, a lot of modern feminists were saying that sex work was empowering.
They talked about how it lets women take control of their bodies and turn the tables on men.
So, naturally, I thought being an adult entertainer would be a fun and exciting career.
And you know what? For a while, it was.
I started as a phone sex operator and webcam model, and it was pretty exciting.
It became my main source of income and I loved how flexible my schedule was.
But as time went on, I started to see things differently.
The sex industry isn’t all glitter and gold.
It can actually be pretty risky and toxic, even when you’re just doing it online.
These days, there’s this big push to make porn and sex work seem normal, especially with sites like OnlyFans.
And honestly? It worries me.
I think we need to talk more about the not-so-great parts of being an adult content creator that people often ignore.
That’s why I want to share 7 reasons why sex work is not empowering.
It’s time to pull back the curtain and see what’s really going on.
7 Honest Reasons Why Sex Work is Not Empowering
Alright, let’s break down the reasons why sex work is not empowering.
These are based on my own experiences and the stories I’ve heard directly from other sex workers.
1. Sex Workers Don’t Get Paid as Much as You Think
So, you’ve probably heard stories about sex workers raking in massive amounts of cash, right?
The headlines make it seem like we’re all swimming in money, with some claiming to earn over $10,000 a month!
But here’s the reality: only a small number of top creators actually make that kind of money.
For most sex workers, very few earn over $150-180 per month.
For those who do make a living, the earnings are much more modest, usually averaging between $40,000 and $50,000 a year.
Many people are misled into thinking they can easily make big money by sharing some sexy pictures or doing a few live shows, but sex work is not as simple as it seems.
Earning a livable income requires long hours spent creating content, performing live, chatting with clients, and constantly promoting ourselves—essentially becoming sex influencers.
Plus, the industry is overflowing with new creators all the time, which means fierce competition.
This pressure often leads sex workers to do things we’re not entirely comfortable with, just to make ends meet.
2. Sex Work Attracts Abusive Customers
One major reason why sex work is not empowering is the rampant misogyny and abuse prevalent in the industry.
Whether a woman acts as a dominant or submissive, many customers view us solely as objects for their sexual gratification.
To them, we’re nothing more than holes they wish to f*ck.
The language these customers use is frequently degrading and dehumanizing.
They refer to women as lesser beings, existing only for men’s sexual satisfaction.
Name-calling and objectifying comments are disturbingly common in our daily interactions.
Even more alarming are the customers who derive pleasure from being violent and humiliating towards us.
They openly fantasize and talk about wanting to hurt us for their sexual gratification.
Many believe they can be abusive and unleash all their frustrations on us simply because they’ve paid for our services.
These individuals feel entitled to do whatever they want, failing to see us as worthwhile human beings.
Instead, they treat us like disposable sex bots, there solely for their pleasure.
3. Customers Have Disturbing Fantasies
When I began my career as an online sex worker nearly two decades ago, most clients sought what we’d consider “vanilla” sexual experiences or mild BDSM and fetish play.
However, over time, I’ve witnessed a troubling evolution in the digital sex industry.
As our society has grown increasingly desensitized to adult content and pornography has seeped into mainstream culture, we’ve seen a surge in customers with deeply disturbing kinks and fantasies.
These individuals seem intent on pushing boundaries, often pressuring sex workers into degrading acts that go far beyond conventional sexual acts.
Many of these clients are in the grip of severe sex or porn addiction.
Their desires have escalated to a point where “normal” no longer satisfies them.
Instead, they crave scenarios that are not just taboo, but often disturbing.
Some fantasies border on being illegal, while others are so morally disgusting that they’re difficult to even think about.
As sex workers, we find ourselves facing requests that aren’t just outside our comfort zones, but potentially dangerous or traumatizing.
4. There Are Risks and Hazards Involved
Many people believe that online sex work, especially on platforms like OnlyFans, is an easy and safe way to earn some extra cash.
However, the reality is that even online sex work comes with significant risks and challenges.
For instance, there are cases where customers become overly obsessed and start stalking their favorite content creators.
They often disregard boundaries, blurring the lines between their fantasies and real life.
When it comes to the financial aspect, while some customers are willing to pay fairly, many are simply looking to get more for less.
They may try to manipulate performers, either by tricking us into providing free services or haggling for lower payments than we deserve.
Unfortunately, most sex workers have experienced being scammed at least once, performing or sharing intimate moments without any compensation.
Additionally, there are individuals who steal adult content without permission and share it online, depriving performers of their rightful earnings.
Physical risks are also a concern.
Engaging in frequent sexual activity or using adult toys can lead to accidental injuries, such as tears or bruising.
There’s a pervasive expectation in the industry that “bigger is better,” pushing performers to engage in uncomfortable or extreme acts.
Some even make shocking requests, like inserting objects that are unsafe or inappropriate such as baseball bats.
5. Sex Work Will Impact Personal Life
Even with society starting to have more positive views about sex and online sex work, we sex workers still face a lot of judgment and discrimination in many parts of our lives.
When it comes to personal relationships, friends of sex workers can feel pretty awkward or uncomfortable when they find out what their friend does for a living.
And family members might end up feeling shame, disappointment, or worry.
And let’s talk about dating – revealing that you’re part of the sex industry often leads to harsh judgment and getting turned down.
But the impact of this discrimination goes way beyond just personal relationships.
If word gets out about someone’s involvement in adult work, finding a job in government, corporate, healthcare, or with children becomes really tough.
Now, you might be thinking, “Can’t you just hide it and keep your job a secret?”
That presents its own set of problems.
Being a successful online sex worker these days often requires us to act as sex influencers, marketing ourselves on social media and across the internet, which makes it even harder to keep our work hidden.
Plus, I’ve kept my job hidden from most people I know, but it’s exhausting to keep lying and living a double life.
Even when I have all my stories straight, I still get nervous every time someone asks about my work, hoping they won’t ask too many questions.
After years of this, I honestly wish I had a job I could be proud of and openly share with everyone.
6. Sex Workers Face Mental Health Struggles
These days, more and more women are thinking about getting into the sex industry, believing it’s an easy and lucrative choice.
But the truth is, the reality can be a lot tougher than they expect.
Studies have found that a staggering 73% of sex workers suffer from depression, and 21% experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
What’s more, these studies show that 79% of them turn to alcohol or drugs to cope with the distress and anxiety linked to their work.
It’s a really sad situation.
On top of all that, the sex industry can create a sense of addiction and dependence.
The money can be fast and great, making it hard to even imagine switching to a different job.
Many sex workers also worry about fitting into a “normal” job or finding work they’re truly passionate about in the future.
As a result, many women may become addicted to sex work or feel trapped in the industry, finding it difficult to quit.
7. Sex Workers Eventually ‘Age Out’ (They Leave)
Over my years in the adult entertainment industry, I’ve seen many women come and go.
Even the successful sex workers who once mentored me have nearly all left the industry during this time.
There’s this common belief that female sex workers have a “shelf life” and age out once they reach their 30s, 40s or 50s.
It’s a dumb stereotype.
From what I’ve seen, many women do start to transition away from the sex industry as they grow older, but it’s not because there’s no place for them anymore.
The truth is, as we grow and gain more life experience, we start to see the not-so-great sides of sex work.
Many of us realize that even though the money can be good and we don’t have to deal with the usual 9-to-5 grind, we’ve outgrown the industry.
We start feeling like we deserve something different, something more fulfilling.
Maybe we want to try a new career, start a family, or chase after other life goals that just don’t align with sex work.
Additionally, many of us ultimately recognize that sex work is not as empowering as it once seemed, and it loses its appeal.
We grow tired of having to sexually satisfy men just to survive.
Conclusion
When you look at all these things and more, it’s clear why I believe that sex work is not empowering.
Honestly, the only empowering part I can see is the freedom of being your own boss.
Sex workers often get to choose when they work, how much they charge, and have flexibility in their work schedules.
But aside from that, there’s not a lot that’s empowering about it.
Being an online sex worker isn’t easy or glamorous.
It’s tough, and there are many risks, like people being abusive or pushing boundaries.
We need to be real about the negative aspects of making adult content, instead of acting like it’s all about sex positivity and female empowerment.
In reality, it’s demanding and can be risky.
That’s why sex work is not empowering.
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